Subdivided

I just finished watching the documentary "Subdivided". It's about how society has changed from people moving to the suburbs. It was really interesting and got me to thinking.

I grew up in a subdivision during the 1970's that can best be described as a "themed subdivision" and that theme was horses. The subdivision had these horses and I'm not sure how it worked but families who lived in the subdivision could lease these horses. Most families did and during the summer we had "pony shows" that were elaborate productions. We all dressed up in show clothes and you and your horse won ribbons for different events. It was really neat cause it was something that you could do together as a family, and the rest of the community. Besides the pony shows there were movies shown on the tennis grounds, potlucks, Santa parade and other things that I'm probably forgetting. It was the ideal place to grow up. This documentary I just watched got me thinking about how unique that place was in that it was a real community.

Then I thought about other places I've lived. One of the best places I've lived is Bloomington, Indiana located in southern Indiana and home of Indiana University. This campus is BEAUTIFUL. It looks and feels like a state park and the buildings are all Indiana limestone. Bloomington is a relatively small town outside of the university. One of the things I love about college towns is that they are set up for WALKING. Cars had no power and pedestrians rule. I loved being able to walk to my classes, to work, to clubs,bars,restaurants, live music and shopping.

When I moved to Indianapolis what I hated was having to drive everywhere. All around the city are these little islands of shopping centers, one on the north side is exactly like one on the south side. No diversity. Then when I lived in Denver I saw HUGE swatches of land being made into these giant subdivisions. The west is being eaten up by sprawl. Sprawl is constant from Colorado Springs (and probably now from Pueblo) all the way to Boulder and probably Fort Collins. These massive houses being built all look the same. It is so depressing. And the main thing you notice when you look at these houses is the garage being at the front of the house. I could never understand this until my husband explained it to me that developers could build more houses on smaller lots that way.

When we decided to buy a house we chose one in what is probably the oldest neighborhood in town and has been run down by absentee landlords and drugs. The houses are all old and beautiful and BIG! They just don't build houses like that anymore. One of the reasons we bought this house was because we got a lot of house for the price. Another reason was because I wanted to commit to rebuilding our urban areas as liveable communities. In our town people are fleeing the city and going to the suburbs and the neighborhoods in the city are really suffering. I didn't want to contribute to that. My mother keeps telling me I've got to get out of that house and neighborhood, but I like it. The only thing I don't like is that cars drive too fast down the street and I don't feel comfortable letting my kids ride their bikes in the street. And that's sad. Where I grew up we owned the streets during the summertime, playing kick the can and ding dong ditch em and what not.

I know there is movement in creating communities that revolve around people and not the automobile. Communities where you could walk to shopping, the library, cultural events, museums, theater, restaraunts and clubs. I hope we get there. Otherwise I just have to wait until I retire and can move back to Bloomington

Cooped up

Well it's snowing. I know that when Jett gets up he will want to go outside and play in the snow. I don't have snow boots or pants for him. I guess I was hoping that it wouldn't snow this winter. And I don't know what I'll do with Hope, it's too cold for her. This is what I don't like about winter! I don't like cold, I don't like not being able to do the things I like to do like be outside, I miss the sun. Why oh why did I leave Colorado with all of it's sunny days? At least there when it snowed it was usually gone in a day or two.

Well my last post was in August and I said I was back in action. I guess not! It's been the best of times and the worst of times. What book is that from? I think it's from Dickens. 2009 has not been a good year. To start off Michael was laid off from his job. Then we seperated in June, I moved out. Moving is of course very stressful. Being a single parent is not for the faint hearted let me tell you that. Then I thought I was heading in the right direction by getting into the C.A.S. program at the U of I-Champaign. I love school, if I could be a college student for the rest of my life I would! I pursued this direction because the program offered what I was looking for as far as getting the certification for my job. But it's too expensive! I simply cannot afford it. It's 40 hours, each course is 4 hours and costs $2,000. That's $20,000. I applied for a grant and didn't get it. I seriously thought about paying for it with student loans, but I already owe a lot for my masters and don't want to go deeper into debt. Then there is the factor of time, it is hard to go to school when you work full time and have 3 children. I don't have the mental stamina that I did when I was in my 20's. The first course I took was unbelievably dull. It was called "The Organization and Access of Information". It's a required course and it talks about things like metadata which I'm still not sure what that is. Some of the other courses like young adult literature and children's literature would be fun, but they are repeats of classes I took for my masters that they say are not sufficient.

So I've really been frustrated and felt like I'm caught in a Catch-22 situation. I need to do this for my job, I could loose my job if I don't. But do I go bankrupt in the process?

Okay enough negativity. Things to be thankful for: 3 healthy, beautiful, wonderful children. My good health and my parents good health. I am employed. I do have skills, sometimes I'm just not sure what direction to put them in. My husband has a job. And although we are sperated right now we are still good friends and are talking and the kids seem to be doing alright.

2010 has got to be better! I just need to get through this winter.
So I've been really frustrated and f

back in action

Well Bubbieroos is back in action! I went on a hiatus this summer because my laptop was stolen. But now I have a new laptop and I'm ready to go. For all of my avid readers, I know, I've left you hanging. But it's been kind of a rough summer.

Today was my first day back at a certain school and the kids were so sweet! They came up and gave me hugs and were so excited to see me, wanting to know when they would be coming to library. I have a soft spot in my heart for the kids at this school. It's hard to believe that this is my 4th year. The 5th graders were 2nd graders when I started!

transitions

Well I guess you could say I am in a period of transition. I've decided to move out of our house and rent my own place. I'm not going to go into the details as I don't think I would appreciate it if my husband was blogging all kinds of details about me. I will say sadly that it has taken me ten years and three children to figure out that we aren't compatable. We don't like the same things. We don't like to do the same things. And this has caused a tremendous amount of tension in our household that I don't want to live with anymore. Basically that is it.

Wounded Knee

Did anyone watch the PBS series about Native Americans "We Shall Remain"? It's been on for the past month on Monday nights. This last episode, entitled "Wounded Knee" was really good. It was all about the American Indian Movement during the early 1970's. I don't know why I get so fascinated by all of that but I do. It makes me want to take a road trip to South Dakota to see the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation and to see the Badlands and the Black Hills. Just because I'm curious and I'd like to see it.

I've spent some time on Indian reservations. I spent a summer while I was in college on the Navajo Reservation in Window Rock/Ft. Defiance AZ. Then I lived and worked for two years at the high school in Shiprock, NM. I think back often to that time and how it affected me, both good and bad. I love the West and I miss the West. I haven't been back since I left Denver (and that's not really "the West"). The sky is so big and expansive and the wide open spaces seem to swallow you up whole. I know I'll go back someday. I have to.

Sophie

Well back to my dog. I miss her. What happened? Well as Sophie became older she became more neurotic. She was afraid of storms. Or she was afraid of the sounds caused by thunder. She would absolutely freak out. It got worse each year. She would pant uncontrollably and she would paw at me. I tried everything I could to calm her down. I would pet her, I would hug her. I went to the vet and got tranquilizers for her. They kind of helped but not a lot. Eventually she would try and escape from the house whenever there was a storm. If I left a window open she busted out the screen. Or if I left a window unlocked, she would nose it open and try to get out. She jumped several (and I mean several!) times out of my bedroom which is on the second floor. She chewed all of the woodwork around our windows. Then she would get picked up by strangers or the pound. I got several calls while I was at work to come and get my dog. She was picked up several times by the pound. I swear that dog had nine lives. Finally this past September, when I was 9 months pregnant with child #3, she got picked up by the pound again. This time I decided I couldn't handle this dog anymore. I called the pound and asked about putting her down. They said why put her down, they could find a home for her. I said okay and went in to sign the papers. Sophie did find a home because I got a call from the microchip company asking about tranferring ownership.

But I still feel bad about it. She was a very good friend and companion. My time out west was greatly enhanced by her presence. I hope that she understands. If I weren't having a baby at that time, maybe I could've worked with her more or tried different things to deal with her anxiety about storms. But I didn't and I miss her.

Sophie and Lea

I miss my dog. If I knew how to post pictures I'd post a picture of her here. I knew that her absence would hit me later. What can I say? I got Sophie shortly after I moved out west. I'd always wanted a dog, but it didn't seem like my life was condusive (sp?) to having a dog. I had a cat, Lea, whom I loved also. I kind of associate these two pets as my ventures into adult life and caring for something other than myself. I got Lea shortly after I returned from my Outward Bound experience in 1994. I need another post to write about that experience. I was 23, about to turn 24. I was attending grad school at Indiana University in Bloomington, Indiana. I could write another post about how much I love this town. I mentioned to one of my co-workers that I wanted a cat and she put me in touch with Lea, who needed a home. She brought me Lea who was a grey tortoise shell little kitty. I was living at the time in and old house that was chopped up into rooms for rent. I loved this house! Ask anyone who has ever been to Bloomington with me and I've dragged them through this house. It had a great porch that I loved to sit outside and people watch. Well anyway I got Lea that summer and she was pretty special. I was neurotic about taking care of this cat. Other cats came into my life but none held the same charm for me as Lea. She made the harrowing trip out West with me (and back!).

Sophie came into my life soon after I moved out west to Farmington, NM. I was working as a librarian at the high school in Shiprock, NM. One day on my way home from work I stopped by the pound "just to look". I was lonely out there like I'd never been lonely before. I thought a dog might help. Never mind the fact that I was living in apartment that was unbelievably hard to get that didn't allow dogs. I saw Sophie, who could best be described as a little golden retriever. I did whatever it was I needed to do to adopt her and took her home. The day was Halloween. I named the dog Sophie cause my friend Tiffany had a dog named Sophie that I thought looked like this dog. I went home that night and got some trick-or-treaters. When I opened the door Sophie ran out and took off running. I looked for her that night and couldn't find her. I felt horrible, thinking that this dog had a chance while she was at the pound but out there on the loose who knew what could happen to her. I imagined myself calling the pound the next day to tell them to look out for this dog and that she was worse off than when I adopted her. Well that night I woke up to a dog barking. I opened my door and there stood Sophie. I couldn't of spent more than an hour or two with her and how she managed to find her way back to my place, I couldn't fathom. I thought to myself, "that's a smart dog." I took her in and we were inseperable.

I'm sure my circumstances contributed to my strong attachment to this dog. I had moved 1500 miles willingly by myself to a place where I knew no one and the cutlture was quite different. All I had was this dog. And she was loyal like you wouldn't believe. I didn't have to potty train her cause she was already 6 months old. I often thought that if I had to potty train her I would've given up because it was more that at that time I could handle. She would run off, but she always came back. Shortly therafter I moved into to teacher housing in Shiprock, which was on the reservation. They didn't care if you had dogs. It was really a nice place and super cheap. They took my rent out of my salary. It certainly was the nicest place I'd ever lived in on my own. It had two bedrooms, a kitchen and family room. It had a front and back yard. I grew vegetables and had some beautiful rose bushes. The isolation and lonileness of this place was nothing like I'd experienced before or since. It got to a person. So the one thing I had to help keep me sane was this dog and this cat. More later.