Cooped up

Well it's snowing. I know that when Jett gets up he will want to go outside and play in the snow. I don't have snow boots or pants for him. I guess I was hoping that it wouldn't snow this winter. And I don't know what I'll do with Hope, it's too cold for her. This is what I don't like about winter! I don't like cold, I don't like not being able to do the things I like to do like be outside, I miss the sun. Why oh why did I leave Colorado with all of it's sunny days? At least there when it snowed it was usually gone in a day or two.

Well my last post was in August and I said I was back in action. I guess not! It's been the best of times and the worst of times. What book is that from? I think it's from Dickens. 2009 has not been a good year. To start off Michael was laid off from his job. Then we seperated in June, I moved out. Moving is of course very stressful. Being a single parent is not for the faint hearted let me tell you that. Then I thought I was heading in the right direction by getting into the C.A.S. program at the U of I-Champaign. I love school, if I could be a college student for the rest of my life I would! I pursued this direction because the program offered what I was looking for as far as getting the certification for my job. But it's too expensive! I simply cannot afford it. It's 40 hours, each course is 4 hours and costs $2,000. That's $20,000. I applied for a grant and didn't get it. I seriously thought about paying for it with student loans, but I already owe a lot for my masters and don't want to go deeper into debt. Then there is the factor of time, it is hard to go to school when you work full time and have 3 children. I don't have the mental stamina that I did when I was in my 20's. The first course I took was unbelievably dull. It was called "The Organization and Access of Information". It's a required course and it talks about things like metadata which I'm still not sure what that is. Some of the other courses like young adult literature and children's literature would be fun, but they are repeats of classes I took for my masters that they say are not sufficient.

So I've really been frustrated and felt like I'm caught in a Catch-22 situation. I need to do this for my job, I could loose my job if I don't. But do I go bankrupt in the process?

Okay enough negativity. Things to be thankful for: 3 healthy, beautiful, wonderful children. My good health and my parents good health. I am employed. I do have skills, sometimes I'm just not sure what direction to put them in. My husband has a job. And although we are sperated right now we are still good friends and are talking and the kids seem to be doing alright.

2010 has got to be better! I just need to get through this winter.
So I've been really frustrated and f